Prose 1: Thoughts on Us

I still feel a bit sad whenever I think about us, how far we are from each other even though you are just 10 minutes away. And If I can't write about it or this is just one of the few times I am writing about us, it's a good thing I have people to talk to about it. To express and vent about it.I don't understand why you the love of my life and me supposedly the love of yours can't even do this much...be friends. Are you so far in accepting yourself? or is it me?

I can't grasp what is going on in your life that you can easily so discard me. Was I too cruel? will you never talk to me again? I need to understand, but if we never talk about it. I'm afraid I will harbor this resentment of you and it will grow as time goes by. If you never agree to this, this taste of bitterness will get stronger.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to hope for love, and this hope has almost completely faded and it is at its hardest.

Truly you must believe, I can love you with only the hope for friendship.  

Quotation 1: Luck

Luck favors the prepared.

-Anonymous.

125: To someday

some day my brain will collide with yours

White as snow, we'll mix in my palm.

124: To a moment's peace

For you who can enjoy a moments peace

a moment's escape from the grasp of drowning city sea and air

the afternoon sun to quickly fleeing into the night cold, and the unaffectionate response
of a beloved

the mess of the fruit mesh over your finger
tips, the true dragon fruit, the king of fruits, whose
eggs are murdered and drench the throat with luxury

for you who live lives without a moments
peace

for those who succumb to the mercy of your
fears

let us take a deep breath and enjoy the moments peace


-inspired by R's photo of a Korean pavillion.

123: Impressions of me

none can capture

those.

122: hanging on to nothing

Can you hang on to nothing?

or a greeting

a train of tought,

a belief.

there must be something to hang on to.

otherwise we are just falling.

120: To flowers

Only after death, may the flowers begin to bloom again,

May the flowers of love bloom in January,

In a new year's dawn, where the hopes for caresses,

and kisses are renewed, to which the moments no longer

belong to the dried days and fallen memories of the lost love,

but to the new that's set to spring out of hope.

This moment I found, belongs to me and the flowers that bloom.



- while doing the layout for pinagbenga

119: To B and C

I've lost some of the poems I wrote.

During our Poetry Tuesdays.

Do you have a copy?

I need them for Palanca....

LOL

118: # 3 / International Poetry Month

The creative cat, came out of now where

Behind my dogged brain, 

I wrote this. 

117: For G

In Loving Memory of Tayuman, 

The honyed fragance of the mouth wash

you used right before

you kissed me 8 years ago wafted

over my aroused concsiousness, along with the following images, 

The bag of Migdonald's double cheese burger w/o ketchup, 

LRT, Taft, abad santos, and Natividad st. was it?

And again I ask. 

The questions that we usually ask ourselves.

Whenever we find ourselves alone.   

Contemptous Son of a Bitch

Drafted 2010

I just thought it sounded good.

I'm not really pertaining to anyone but I really just felt like saying it well maybe to someone from work. It maybe impolite to curse someone specially someone way older but hey rock and roll right?

Somehow I found something about myself, aside from being a slut for about 3 years, that I've been trying too many things that I don't end up finishing what I started or promised to do. I have pending paintings etc.

116: Let us meet again - For N

Let us meet again my love,
Like we've never met before.
Some place outside the gates
or beyond the curb of the road
where you used to pick me up.

Let us meet again my love,
beside each other, without this longing
On the seats of your car, my bed,
or the movie house
where we used to hold hands.

Let us meet again my love,
so you can see me today,
hopefully I am without whatever
it was that made you leave.

Let us meet again,
for the first time after a long while,
so that we may continue on a different road,
without whatever it was
that made me leave.

115: Bagong taon - Para kay N

Napaka-laki nitong nararamdaman ko ngayon.
Matapos mo nanaman i-reschedule indefinitely ang ating pag kikita.
Nakaktakot at Nakakabaliw.
marami akong nais sabihin sa iyo ngayon,
tanungin, ngunit hindi ko pa magawa,
dahil hindi ako handa.

Saka nalang. Pero pinalalaki ko ba?
Ako lang ba ang hindi mo nais makita?
Eh baket ka nag sosorry? Malabo ba? kaya hindi ko makita?

Sa kabilang banda, kilala ko ang aking sarili,
Hindi lilipas ito ng kusa,
Kailangan ko yata ng iba, or ikaw
para tapusin ang malaking kahibangan na ito.


Kailangan bigyan ng mas mainit na liwanag,
ang aking katauhang ngayo'y tila paralisado at
nag uumapoy sa
pagdusa, sa pangungulila, sa pagkalito,
kung pag ibig pa nga ba itong nagliliyab.

Kitang kitang malayo ako sa dalampasigan
ng isipan mo. Nasa laot tila ng ibang mundo.

Kailangan ko ng tapusin ito.  

114: Para saakin at saiyo din, para sa atin.

Tila malapit na
matuklasan kung bakit
mabigat ang aking
kaliwang ma ta

Tila malapit na
akong makakababa
mula sa bundok ng
aking kalbaryo

tila matatapos na
ang paglakbay ko sa
kakaibang lugar ng
aking buhay
ngayong ika sampung taon
ng aking pagbaba.

113: PARA KAY BUNDOK APO

Pagbaba ng pababa,

sumakit ang hita,

hiningal,

naging matalas ang isipan, sa hirap

ng pag akyat pababa,

tila naalog nito ang

lahat ng masamang nararamdaman,

nahulog at tila kinuha ng mga bato at ugat.

ng hinangin, o nasinagan ng araw.

Naliwanagan, sa bundok,

at may kakaibang lakas na ipinahiram.

Salamat.

- sa muli kong pagakyat, para magpasalamat sa mga hiling na ipatutupad, magpasalamat sa diyos at magbayad sa pamilya.

112: October 2012

October 2012

Pera, Pera, at Pera.

Putang ina Pera.

111: November 2012

November 2012

PP. El nido.

Tanduay Light (Rhum), Paradise, Close encounters.

Don't hold back.

She knows it already. Jheng does.

Fucking paradise. Beautiful beach.

Hidden lagoon, secret lagoon, mixed signals.

French fries. ABC.

Rooftop.

Magic.

Dolce Vita.

110: December 2012

December 2012

Parties and families.

Kaya.

Tahong Talong, Friendship,

Mt. Apo: Kung di ka napagod, di masaya.

High cut hiking shoes in lieu of "paltos". Spider sex (gagambang nagkakantutan).

Crossed the marble river 6 times. But there's no evidence that I did.

Iron and Sulfur. Comval. Combal. Kidapawan.

Anger, death, love and hope.

The town of Agco.

Di pa ako nagkaroon ng delayed flight sa CEBU PAC.

Empi (brandy). Jess Robredo. Si Kublay.

The Philippines is fucking Amazing.

I sang "You're still the one" sa karaoke over the beach sa isang bar (SEA BALS) sa bayan ng Sta Cruz.

Kiligin ka naman. Grant my wish.

107: 5000 PX

5000,

probably the number of pixels
in your

text message

which created a sweet smile

on this Christmas cold face,

of mine.

108: LA VIE PINOY

LA VIE PINOY


Paray kay Manny, Charice at Ramon Bautista,
Tanduay rhum 5 years, rubadabango, Voltes 5
Vice Ganda, TNL, Ang mahiwagang back pack ni TED FAILON, Ang course ni Nicolihyala, si papa jack pag alas diyes.

Mabuhay.

Eraser Heads and Beauty Queens, Miriam, Charlene, Shamsey, Jenine, Venus, Ely, Raymond, Team Manila,
Ondoy, Habagat, Hanging habagat.
Fishball, Kikiam, Tex at Ice candy,

Mabuhay.

Globe, Tanduay Ice, SML, Pancit, palitaw,
Text text tayo, bababa ba? baba.
Sinturon ni Judas, Divisoria. Mel Tiangco. Kris aquino. Eat Bulaga. Will time big time.

Mabuhay.

Malate, MRT, It's morefun in the PHilippines!
RH, GMA, CAMANAVA, BORA, DOLPHY and Comedy Dauphine Poki.

Mabuhay.

BENCAB, lovebus, MGE,TRAFFIC. TRAFFIC.Bisaya, NPA, Bekinese.

Mabuhay.