Monday, May 18, 2015

Journal Entry 1

Firstly, on superficial things tied into or tangled with existential musings and mild depression.

1. I really want to lose the fat. I know exactly what to do but I am somehow handicapped. Unable to muster the force of will to decide to not eat at night. There has to be a better strategy a better way to cope with stress and a better way to deal with this. I have some food supplements that I should just throw out or sell. They are confusing me from finding the super food that I am meant to eat.

2. I really want to have savings. But fate or has something else in mind.

Secondly on strengthening the mind.

1. Can I do this just by strengthening the body? By listening to meditation podcasts? by reading a book?

2. Prayers and going to church has recently HELPED a lot. I felt my spirits lifted? Is this what they call the holy spirit?

Third is time.

Lastly, I would never be able to articulate this grain of thought that is growing in my mind. It's not that reality is shattered. The concepts of reality have revealed themselves and the fundamental question that is why can never be answered.