I am still confused about this blog and about many other things... maybe a part of me revels in the confusion, and a part of me is disgusted.
Fine let this be a personal blog! Without fear! With adoration for the truth! and passion for ideals that liberate us from suffering.
Look here, I created this blog in 2004, it really hasn't grown to anything...How unfortunate.
How long can I last here at Big Kat's Coffee shop?
"you move your mouse to the right most area of your task bar, hove over the battery icon and discover that you still have more than 2 hours worth of battery life. You are amazed at the incredibility of your discover."
renoir and monet, plus this local painter Juan Luna....i'm not sure if he could be classified as an impressionist, whatever his style is, its still a great painting! Oh what adventure it would be to find an artist in our midst. Life is supposed to be an adventure? I have a hole in my heart, a thirst for adventure....
I think that you know the meaning of "understanding" very well, and shutting up will not accomplish anything. Your knowledge of understanding will just waste away. You should write more often. After all writing your thoughts down will at least allow fate to have a possibility, or increase the chances of other people to gain knowledge and consequently understanding of truths regarding sexuality, creativity, and life.
I think that you know much about understanding, after all you have endured so much, so I implore you tonot keep quite, because there is a malady ( i must confess that i heard someone use this word the other day), but there is such a disease in the hearts of many. I could describe it simply as the "choice to remain un-enlightened" if there is such a thing. Your sister for one seems to choose to not understand... err certain things I cannot discuss yet. As well as your brother in my point of view chooses to remain in a cycle of depression.
Also, I think that some of your friends are pompous arrogant individuals, well sometimes at least. They claim they are such people, they seem so confident of themselves, they are able to label other people call them names, perhaps, its an art that they learned early on... they lack the ability to accept mistakes. They feed their ego.
How is it that they cannot see? How come they can be so sure of life, and you are so uncertain.
You are always uncertain or doubtful of things but somehow, ironically, in that state you also feel the taint of arrogance.
Perhaps someday they will be enlightened, I can only pray, you must remain vigilant else, it will devour you.
Somehow you find yourself repeating yourself already.
I believe Sir Rantings, I've written down quite a number of inane thoughts already, I should consider moving on.
I was just thinking, I really hate the thought of being a disappointment. I hope Nico's right when he said, that things come to me because of how I do my work and not because of....errr... I hope that's true, I hope I can be really great at something one day.