Monday, December 23, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Saturday, November 09, 2013
Now there are empty streets
But tomorrow there will be men
And possibly children
I've seen many bikers,
Tasted hurting but
No wound is greater
You are a scar in my vision
In my day dreams
And in my hopes
In broken sun rays
On my way home
Friday, November 08, 2013
Paki usap mahal
Lumapit ka ng sandali
Bawasan mo muna
Ang pagmamahal mo
sa iyong mga magulang
At ang mga takot
sa lipon ng mga
tao ay itapon mo muna
At saka ay pulutin
Kung mamaya ay
Punasan mo muna
Ang pag aalala
sa iyong mala-
Hanapin mo muna
at isuot ang totoo
Mong mga ngiti
Buksan mo ang
tabihan mo ako
hayaan mo ang maunos kong
Ulo ay dumantay
Sa lupain ng iyong katawan
At hayaan mong marinig
Ng iyong mga balikat
Ng aking tenga
At ang pagalulong ng
Tabihan mo lamang ako
Paki usap pahiram muli
ako ng ang oras,
Sumalok ng mga minuto
Karagatan ng iyong buhay.
Muna ang naiwang
Hawakan at gamutin mo muna
Aking naulilang palad.
Pakiusap mahal sa aking
Ako ng sandali.
Thursday, November 07, 2013
Monday, November 04, 2013
But I don't think I can ever
come to a point where I could
write exactly how I feel for
you. I have been trying for a
couple of weeks now, to put to
words, my feelings for you. And
so here's another attempt.
Because who knows what the
future holds for us, but I'd
like to let you know just how
much you mean to me.
All I can imagine for the past 2
years is what a wonderful day I
would have if I can ever hold
your hand again, like how we
used to. And what a waste of
precious time it is not being
able to do so. And I do
understand that you have to do
your thing, and I have to do
mine. So I chose to wait for you
even if I think time is against
To wait for you to fall in love
for me again like how you did,
for the third time perhaps? - It
is something I have been looking
forward to, after sometime when
I thought we have had enough
space from each other, it's
almost been 2 years. But I am
still looking forward to that
day. Thinking about you during
the gaps in my work, the gaps in
the day, you fill them with
And my feelings grow each day,
love but now there is also fear
of you replying, not replying
if this is really what they call
love, then I'm lucky. My life
has purpose as long as I am in
My feelings for you now seem to
me like a permanent thing. Like
a belief or an ideal as vast or
as the matter in the universe.
Although you said it was best
for us to be friends and you'd
love that and it did hurt like a
pinch in the chest and a punch
in the stomach,but since you
also said you deeply cared and
prayed for me everyday, that
made me so happy I couldn't stop
smiling. Punched but smiling at
the same time. That's how to
live right? And I was inspired
to conquer the world and see it
with you, I sometimes imagine to
explore the milky way with you.
In this life I have lost many
things and there are some things
I ought to get back, abstract
things like my "will" and my
focus, like some of my health,
which has considerably
diminished. But I know i will be
able to gain them all back. But
even now, I do not mind losing
more if it will lead me to you.
I was soo happy when you came to
the house and spent a few hours.
But I'm not sure if I ask the 2
questions in proper order, I
have my doubts.
I want to be with you always and
I hope for the day that you find
yourself in a place where you
have the time to be with me and
be with your family whom I know
you love and enjoy yourself too
all at the same time. But if
hindi naman with me okay lang,
basta in a very happy place. :)
I guess I will come to you again
after 2 years and I promise not
have any relationship.
I wish you all the success in
the world. I think you are very
intelligent, loving, kind, very
very smart and talented and
least important very very
handsome. if you ever feel
inadequate at work,please don't
it just might not be the right
I was supposed to send this
sometime ago... but what's been
said has already been said. I am
thankful for that and will leave
you be I did all my best. And as
spoken we could be friends. I
don't think I can hang on to us
any longer, it's time to fall in
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Berde ang iyong suot at
nakatali ang iyong buhok.
Isang gabi sa Singapura,
Sa labas ng istastyon ng tren.
Gatas ang kutis at sa iyong ngiti
Mayroong hibla ng tamis.
Umiinom tayo ng wine.
Tumatawa sa isang lamesa.
Habang pinakikita mo ang iyong mga
Paintings sa kaibigan ng kaibigan.
Natapos ang gabi at
Kasabay ng pagyapos
Mo sa akin.
Ay ang pagaalinlangan ko.
Dumadaloy ang lakas
Ni inday sa bawat
Walis ting ting
Nya sa ding ding
Ng kulay madaling araw
Ang mga araw nila
Miggy at marga habang
Mga ka conyohan
Sa opisina tuwing
Derecho sa hataw sa
Hataw sa inuman
Hataw sa tugtog
Na titanium ni sia
At david guetta
Ng pagka miss sa
Kailangan tumira sa ibang
Bansa ng mahigit sa tatlong
Buwan kung gusto
Si inday, ang trapik,
na tumagal sa opisina
Ng aking pagkatao
Ang nagpapa bili
Maraming walang hiyang
Nagnanakaw ng pera ng bayan
Yung mga pinagpapawisan
Kinakamkam at ipinamumudmod
Sa mga anak
At ahil Maraming dakila
Dakilaan na tulad ko
Sa maynila ay hangang ngayon
Maraming gitnang pangalan ay baboy
Si bong baboy r.
Si j. Baboy n.
At si juan baboy e.
Nangugulangot nangangaban bayan
At ang mga mang mang ay nanatiling mang mang
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
All of us are indeed are either partially fckd
Or fully fckd by life no less,
Regardless what position you are in
Regardless of age gender it doesn't discriminate nor favour anyone at all.
It hides to some people the joys of struggle
It hides to some the comfort of health
It shows riches to a few but peace of mind to fewer. ...
So I have time,
While waiting for you,
I have these words to spill,
From my mind's mind
And my inner inner self,
I have some thoughts to share,
Some load to bear,
A little anxiety
A little hope and some
Youth to cope,
And a tiny fact
That remains largely true,
I will always be blue,
While waiting for you.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
It all starts from saying "Hi" or "Hey"
Which ever is more appealing.
Then ask for a face photo,
But remember to send yours first.
Then ask if a place is available,
Make sure it's not too far
Then just to make sure,
ask for another photo.
You will need the phone number too
In order for you to meet before
Remember to bathe and gargle.
Saliva exchange is eminent.
Then exchange breaths and skins.
And desires. Remember not to get emotional.
Because it all ends in goodbyes.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Sunday, October 06, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
that stir in mind,
of those days
that are beyond
eyes are filled
with summer rays
soft rustling leaves
flooded the halls
into the in between of
those that we
so easily climbed
seemed so high
the milky blue
and then there are
also those bright
rainy days bathed
and growing bodies
drenched and shining
with rainbow colored
From the candle wax
of my youth, sweet
are so easily made.
All these I remember
now that my life is in
the quarter moon
and i am waxing onto
the fullness of a future
built with my childhood
Thursday, September 05, 2013
Sunday, September 01, 2013
When was the last time you sang a song,
or thought of singing, without bothering the
imaginary cats in your mind.
When was the last time your mind
didn't have malice against me,
to what I said.
When was the last time
your ego did not have to break,
for every message you detest.
When was the last
time you picked yourself up,
even when couldn't
and you don't know you can't
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
kwento ng pagiibigan ng dalawang lalaki,
dahil nag pasiya nako na mag move on.
Dahil ikaw ay nagbitiw na ng pinakahihintay
kong mapag panulak na pangungusap:
"okay lang nama po sakin, kahita may iba ka na,
gusto ko happy ka"
parang ganon mo tinext. At parang ganun na rin natunaw, ang madikit, at makapit na pag mamahal ko.
Cure for being Jaded.
After my thought confessions,
to a friend, and after listing
to a song entitled drops of jupiter,
it occured to me,
that I have turned into a disgustingly
but colors you can judge,
and smells you can measure,
but you can never call a man scum,
nor his fault when he falls from
grace and fancies himself as invincible,
man is bound when he is ignorant,
and free only as he is bound by
So there is no cure, you will turn green
when life wills it for you,
but you will know, and when that time comes,
you will be the best jaded person
let's linger at each other for a few more moments,
we don't have to end it hurriedly,
Specially now that we are in our late twenties,
Our whole fleet of mid adulthood
has finally come to a stage
they call acceptance,
and I have accepted,
that you have been lagging behind,
and I am in front, so I will
walk slower, and you try to catch up,
na parang masayang tula,
ligtas ako sa mapanganib na lungkot,
tila walang pangit na kamay ng baraha
ang tumatabla sa aking pagkatao.
Ngunit dumating ang alas ng kalaban,
Ang buhay mismo, at naging mapanganib
ang aking kapaligiran,
kahit sa tirik na tirik na araw.
at nagbabaga ang liwanag, ay dumadapo
na parang ligaw na mga aswang sa gunita,
ang mga kuko ng kalungkutan, pag aalala,
takot, at anino ng pagod
wagas nilang niyayapos ang aking
dating maliwanag na diwa at malakas na pulso
na tila nadudurog sa bigat ng aking sariling yapak,
at sa bawat ala ala ng mga nakakahinayang,
sa pinakamapanganib na gabi ng aking buhay,
nagbasa ng ibang tula, ang may ari
ng kalawakan, at ako'y ginapos
upang makipaglaban at sumugal sa buhay.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
She is the masterpiece
of my memory,
a honey combed summer,
under the curled blue,
of waves and an infinite
stretch of sky that reach
beyond my sight
into the universe of who I was,
And the Sun god's grandeur
fell brightly over the silent
that held us together,
Water, sky, and your ivory soft smile,
and this held me eternally,
for a moment, and in my lost being
how to finally live,
And if I close my eyes now,
I can make it last, perfect, infinitely.
and I know why it was enough.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
When I came back to the flat Tuesday probably with protozoans in my tummy because of all the mud obstacles, I decided to talk to the love of my life after not receiving any reply to my messages... The conversation was an eye opener. He said that "he would like me to be happy, with someone else" and that's the most painful thing to say in the world, after we've talked about how we can give each other another chance in 2 years, there was a sudden realization that I was talking to someone truly devoid of any feelings for me at all. The person I am deep as space in love with unfortunately doesn't feel the same way. And the idea is that this person is someone I don't want any more grew. He doesn't have it in him to treat me with respect or to be honest to me and to himself about his feelings, He's someone who cannot communicate. I know I have paid my dues already for treating him badly before and I think I deserve a little respect. We knew each other a long time before, and we were quite friends, what I don't understand is that somehow doesn't even count anymore.
I don't think his kind of treatment is what I deserve. It's a very painful fact, and I don't think he understands, he hasn't gone thru a of relationships, or any that I know of.
I think the sad reality that I have to accept there is no possibility of getting back with him. Period. The future I know will take care of itself.
But it's finally time to move on. To have a better perspective and to find someone better. To move on from someone I love so dearly, but clearly isn't in the same book.
Fortunately I have friends.. really good friends, new friends who give hope of finding people that are more open.
And there are some friends who are not as supportive, but are honest, and honestly it's not about the looks, or who is better, its actually really about emotional connection.
While I was feeling bad about my personal / love life, work was also a roller coaster ride, but it ended with a job well done.
Now it's time to exploit my new found independence. It's time to be awesome, it's almost September after all and the ghosts of our past have moved on.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
I really didn't notice but I was sitting beside an old couple, and I was clutching my bag while eating. I guess the old lady, probably around her 60s asked me why I didn't place my bag in the seat next to me. I said to her, because someone might sit on it... but after realizing that... there's no harm in doing I put my bag down.
So she asked me where I was from, and that started a discussion about Singapore and the Philippines with her and her husband.
It wasn't the first time I heard on how advanced the Philippines was back in the '60s and that the rest of the ASEAN nation was looking up to the country I call home. And it wasn't the first time I came across a Singaporean who had a Filipina for a maid either.
We discussed why the Philippines was so stagnant now.. why it fell behind and he said that we needed a stronger economy to change... my country men were nice, intelligent etc. I said I don't think the Philippines had it in their hearts the drive to move forward, we are quite content with the country, the old man Roland said that that we might wake up one day, when it's all too late.
He said it was easy for Singapore to change, because they were so small... I thought to myself afterwards yes indeed the country is small, but this country is also so big in many ways.
In the end our conclusion was that there is stirring for change in the Philippines a small one.. but let's hope that small glimmer of hope pushes my country men forward.
Singapore is a wonderful gift to the ASEAN. Suddenly these two countries have become so dear to me.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Seems like ive been shoved into this path.
Hopefully it leads to uncovering my potential to change the world. Perhaps through writing of thought. But looking at other people lives many have been lead to their doom or into the doldrums of contentment.
What action must we take or can we take to refuse the shovers might and deny our fate in the event we foresee that at the end of the road we are being lead to our undoing.
But then how do we forsee? Perhaps that is finding our genius. Or studying the history of.people.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
A society will always have a majority and a minority. And the only defense against oppression or the mind setting of oppression is a broader view of things.
But there are many layers to an individual for example you can belong to the majority of male asian population. But you can be a minority if you are a foreigner. There seems to be a dominant mind set. That binds 1 layer of being a majority.
Sunday, May 05, 2013
because sometime if you tell the truth no one will believe you.
you sometimes admit to the accusation to help people who can't, understand.
my mind is bound to freedom while other in death
Saturday, April 27, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Ang iyong makulay na imahe
Bente otso ako ngayon, mga ilang beses lang ako nakasakay sa ikot na jeep sa UP
papunta ako sa Math building magpapatutor, yun ata pakay ko noon,
maraming beses na rin ako nag ikot na jeep kaya di ko na gaano maalala.
Pero naalala ko duwag pa ako noon, kaya nung nginingitan mo ako, mejo intense.
at binalewala ko lang.
Pero isang alaala iyon di ko malilimutan.
Sayang di tayo nagkakilala. Baka naalala mo pa? text mo ako.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Day 2. Write a declaration of your love. Post it in your notes section or blog it.
Day 3. Ask her out via e-mail or Skype chat.
Day 4. Instagram your first date.
Day 5. Check in to all the places he/she likes. Try to check in together.
Day 6. Create a pinterest board for everything he/she likes.
Day 7. Tweet him/her on his/her birthday for all the word to see. Ask your friends to tweet too.
Day 8. Send him/her a Youtube link of your favorite music video.
Day 9. Send him/her gifts via e-bay.
Day 10. Make an app of love in the Android or Apple store. Hope he or she downloads it.
Sa dulo ng ating dila
may mga tala
Sa iyong kamay
may tiwala, may naisip
Sumakay tayo sa dalang alon
ng kanilang tuwa
ang nalalakad sa
bihira ang may alam
Sa gilid, sa tabi
tayo ay magsasalita
bubukasan ang daan
patungo sa kapayapaan.
Sa gilid sa tabi,
tayo ay magsasalita
mabubuhay ng tama.
Sa gilid sa tabi,
may mga kasama,
magbubukas ng daan
patungo sa kapayapaan.
Friday, April 19, 2013
I'm walking to
new places while
waiting for you
to come around
who knows when
the sheets will
for another time
will be waiting
for your skin
But my heart's gone
My Heart's so beautiful
but She's gone.
to a fool.
She was never handed over.
Promises were done
and hope was made but
I never recovered.
But my heart's gone
My Heart's so beautiful
but She's gone.
to a fool.
Sunday, April 07, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
You recently asked my how I am, well for your candid information, I wouldn't want to be in any place right now except maybe healthier and richer. :) I am in fact quite content about life at this very moment. But there are bad moments too, and it could be better and I am moving towards that better place, or the way it was before....
You know, all I need is an awesome good year, just one MOFO amazing year!. To recover from 2012 and the financial blow it dealt and to rid me of all the health issues I've been facing, good thing that none of which are life threatening.
Anyway actually all my "eggs are in this one basket of a year" - 2013. After turning down and being turned down on several applications last year and early this year, a roller coaster ride of emotions. I am finally at the cusp of leaping forward 10 steps in my career and my financial status along with it.
Hopefully, and I pray, that it materializes because God knows I need this.
On other matters, suddenly there now dreams of going to Europe when there were none, there are also these dreams of still getting back with CN. I get this every two weeks or once a week and I don't mind. Even if I think there's an opportunity for romance. Someone is unknowingly tugging at my heart or at least the place where my heart used to be.
Anyway "summer" is almost around and I've yet to lose the weight, and submit the poetry collection to Palanca, that goal setting exercise we had at the agency was a sudden reminder.
Maybe you should submit your proses or something.
See you soon after a year or something,
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Saturday, February 09, 2013
I still feel a bit sad whenever I think about us, how far we are from each other even though you are just 10 minutes away. And If I can't write about it or this is just one of the few times I am writing about us, it's a good thing I have people to talk to about it. To express and vent about it.I don't understand why you the love of my life and me supposedly the love of yours can't even do this much...be friends. Are you so far in accepting yourself? or is it me?
I can't grasp what is going on in your life that you can easily so discard me. Was I too cruel? will you never talk to me again? I need to understand, but if we never talk about it. I'm afraid I will harbor this resentment of you and it will grow as time goes by. If you never agree to this, this taste of bitterness will get stronger.
Sometimes the hardest thing is to hope for love, and this hope has almost completely faded and it is at its hardest.
Truly you must believe, I can love you with only the hope for friendship.
Monday, January 07, 2013
Saturday, January 05, 2013
For you who can enjoy a moments peace
a moment's escape from the grasp of drowning city sea and air
the afternoon sun to quickly fleeing into the night cold, and the unaffectionate response
of a beloved
the mess of the fruit mesh over your finger
tips, the true dragon fruit, the king of fruits, whose
eggs are murdered and drench the throat with luxury
for you who live lives without a moments
for those who succumb to the mercy of your
let us take a deep breath and enjoy the moments peace
-inspired by R's photo of a Korean pavillion.
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
May the flowers of love bloom in January,
In a new year's dawn, where the hopes for caresses,
and kisses are renewed, to which the moments no longer
belong to the dried days and fallen memories of the lost love,
but to the new that's set to spring out of hope.
This moment I found, belongs to me and the flowers that bloom.
- while doing the layout for pinagbenga
I just thought it sounded good.
Like we've never met before.
Some place outside the gates
or beyond the curb of the road
where you used to pick me up.
Let us meet again my love,
beside each other, without this longing
On the seats of your car, my bed,
or the movie house
where we used to hold hands.
Let us meet again my love,
so you can see me today,
hopefully I am without whatever
it was that made you leave.
Let us meet again,
for the first time after a long while,
so that we may continue on a different road,
without whatever it was
that made me leave.
Matapos mo nanaman i-reschedule indefinitely ang ating pag kikita.
Nakaktakot at Nakakabaliw.
marami akong nais sabihin sa iyo ngayon,
tanungin, ngunit hindi ko pa magawa,
dahil hindi ako handa.
Saka nalang. Pero pinalalaki ko ba?
Ako lang ba ang hindi mo nais makita?
Eh baket ka nag sosorry? Malabo ba? kaya hindi ko makita?
Sa kabilang banda, kilala ko ang aking sarili,
Hindi lilipas ito ng kusa,
Kailangan ko yata ng iba, or ikaw
para tapusin ang malaking kahibangan na ito.
Kailangan bigyan ng mas mainit na liwanag,
ang aking katauhang ngayo'y tila paralisado at
nag uumapoy sa
pagdusa, sa pangungulila, sa pagkalito,
kung pag ibig pa nga ba itong nagliliyab.
Kitang kitang malayo ako sa dalampasigan
ng isipan mo. Nasa laot tila ng ibang mundo.
Kailangan ko ng tapusin ito.
matuklasan kung bakit
mabigat ang aking
kaliwang ma ta
Tila malapit na
mula sa bundok ng
tila matatapos na
ang paglakbay ko sa
kakaibang lugar ng
ngayong ika sampung taon
ng aking pagbaba.
Pagbaba ng pababa,
sumakit ang hita,
naging matalas ang isipan, sa hirap
ng pag akyat pababa,
tila naalog nito ang
lahat ng masamang nararamdaman,
nahulog at tila kinuha ng mga bato at ugat.
ng hinangin, o nasinagan ng araw.
Naliwanagan, sa bundok,
at may kakaibang lakas na ipinahiram.
- sa muli kong pagakyat, para magpasalamat sa mga hiling na ipatutupad, magpasalamat sa diyos at magbayad sa pamilya.
PP. El nido.
Tanduay Light (Rhum), Paradise, Close encounters.
Don't hold back.
She knows it already. Jheng does.
Fucking paradise. Beautiful beach.
Hidden lagoon, secret lagoon, mixed signals.
French fries. ABC.
Parties and families.
Tahong Talong, Friendship,
Mt. Apo: Kung di ka napagod, di masaya.
High cut hiking shoes in lieu of "paltos". Spider sex (gagambang nagkakantutan).
Crossed the marble river 6 times. But there's no evidence that I did.
Iron and Sulfur. Comval. Combal. Kidapawan.
Anger, death, love and hope.
The town of Agco.
Di pa ako nagkaroon ng delayed flight sa CEBU PAC.
Empi (brandy). Jess Robredo. Si Kublay.
The Philippines is fucking Amazing.
I sang "You're still the one" sa karaoke over the beach sa isang bar (SEA BALS) sa bayan ng Sta Cruz.
Kiligin ka naman. Grant my wish.