Monday, November 04, 2013

Love Letter 1

This is a love letter.

But I don't think I can ever

come to a point where I could

write exactly how I feel for

you. I have been trying for a

couple of weeks now, to put to

words, my feelings for you. And

so here's another attempt.

Because who knows what the

future holds for us, but I'd

like to let you know just how

much you mean to me.

All I can imagine for the past 2

years is what a wonderful day I

would have if I can ever hold

your hand again, like how we

used to. And what a waste of

precious time it is not being

able to do so. And I do

understand that you have to do

your thing, and I have to do

mine. So I chose to wait for you

even if I think time is against

us.

To wait for you to fall in love

for me again like how you did,

for the third time perhaps? - It

is something I have been looking

forward to, after sometime when

I thought we have had enough

space from each other, it's

almost been 2 years. But I am

still looking forward to that

day. Thinking about you during

the gaps in my work, the gaps in

the day, you fill them with

love.

And my feelings grow each day,

love but now there is also fear

of you replying, not replying

if this is really what they call

love, then I'm lucky. My life

has purpose as long as I am in

love.

My feelings for you now seem to

me like a permanent thing. Like

a belief or an ideal as vast or

as the matter in the universe.

Although you said it was best

for us to be friends and you'd

love that and it did hurt like a

pinch in the chest and a punch

in the stomach,but since you

also said you deeply cared and

prayed for me everyday, that

made me so happy I couldn't stop

smiling. Punched but smiling at

the same time. That's how to

live right? And I was inspired

to conquer the world and see it

with you, I sometimes imagine to

explore the milky way with you.

In this life I have lost many

things and there are some things

I ought to get back, abstract

things like my "will" and my

focus, like some of my health,

which has considerably

diminished. But I know i will be

able to gain them all back. But

even now, I do not mind losing

more if it will lead me to you.

I was soo happy when you came to

the house and spent a few hours.

But I'm not sure if I ask the 2

questions in proper order, I

have my doubts.

I want to be with you always and

I hope for the day that you find

yourself in a place where you

have the time to be with me and

be with your family whom I know

you love and enjoy yourself too

all at the same time. But if

hindi naman with me okay lang,

basta in a very happy place. :)

I guess I will come to you again

after 2 years and I promise not

have any relationship.

I wish you all the success in

the world. I think you are very

intelligent, loving, kind, very

very smart and talented and

least important very very

handsome. if you ever feel

inadequate at work,please don't

it just might not be the right

time.  


...

I was supposed to send this

sometime ago... but what's been

said has already been said. I am

thankful for that and will leave

you be I did all my best. And as

spoken we could be friends. I

don't think I can hang on to us

any longer, it's time to fall in

love again. 

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